By Miranda Polastri
Our house transformed into a cinematic setting when my family arrived for Christmas dinner. The tree was there with its golden lights, which shone like celestial bodies in the darkness. The dining area displayed candles and perfectly arranged napkins with elegant cursive name tags at each setting. The house filled with its pine and cinnamon scents became filled with laughter as my mother’s family brought their warm presence and lively conversations from the kitchen. The evening should have united everyone under its light but it failed to do so. My brother Nicolas and I sat together on the couch while staring at our devices during that special night. I became aware of the unusual situation when I looked away from my screen because every person in the room was physically present yet mentally distant. The cousins recorded TikTok videos by the Christmas tree while their faces received light from their screens instead of the overhead lights. My aunt checked Instagram through her glasses while the cold blue light from her screen reflected off her lenses.
Nicolas spent his first night back from college sending messages to his friends instead of engaging with me. Our family surrounded us with love and laughter yet our minds wandered like snowflakes through the air. The question in my mind was about how our phone screens began to outshine the Christmas lights. I observed the room while this question continued to roam my thoughts. The two lighting sources created a poetic contrast between the soft golden Christmas lights and the harsh electric screen illumination. The two different worlds merged into one space where the short-lived vibrant atmosphere clashed with the permanent cold grip of screens. A deep emptiness began to form inside my chest as I observed the scene. The evening was supposed to become a special moment when time would pause and all loved ones would gather under one roof while outside distractions became irrelevant. We attempted to live the moment by editing and sharing it with strangers instead of embracing it in the present. The attempt to create a perfect photo led to the actual experience disappearing into the background of the camera. Our holiday moments disappeared while we spent time viewing pictures of other people’s celebrations. Our physical presence in the room did not match our mental state because we existed in separate digital universes while being physically present.
Social media creates a global connection but it drives people to leave their immediate surroundings and the people who share their space. The platform provides social connections but it creates deeper feelings among its users. The holiday season brings out feelings of loneliness because everything around us seems to be filled with nostalgic love. Social media provides users with an endless stream of idealized content showing perfect holiday decorations and gift-giving and family photos. The true essence of special moments during the holidays remains hidden from social media because it only shows perfect images of others but not the authentic moments that create lasting memories. These genuine moments, which create lasting memories such as my grandmother’s laughter and the glass clinking and Cchristmas carols and pine needle sounds disappear when we focus on creating “perfect” social media content. People scroll through the carefully edited posts of others while their authentic experiences from everyday life remain unnoticed in the background. Social media does not deserve its reputation as an evil platform. It actually serves as a beautiful tool when people use it with purpose. Through social media users can share small parts of their life with distant friends while discovering new ideas and creating social groups.
These platforms evolved from just a viewing app into a constant self-assessment tool where users compare their lives to collections of unknown people. The issue doesn’t come from our usage of this platform. The issue emerges when technology begins to control our behavior. The algorithms function to maintain user engagement by keeping viewers fixated on their screens even after the content they view has lost its initial appeal. The notifications produce a soft sound which suggests important matters exist beyond our current view. We tend to accept these notifications without questioning their truthfulness.
That night, so many of us had. Social media had trained us to view presence as an optional choice because we loved each other deeply. We attempted to experience the “now and here” while taking pictures of it but our efforts failed to succeed. Our complete presence is required for being present because any absence will result in complete disappearance.
I performed a small but meaningful action by placing my phone with the screen facing down on the table. I observed my brother Nicolas as he continued typing moving in a repetitive pattern. His eyes met mine and he understood what I was doing. The simple act brought about a noticeable change in the atmosphere. His genuine smile transformed his entire facial expression as he revealed his true self. He placed his phone inside his pocket without uttering any words. A silent instant occurred which revealed an invisible barrier that had been hidden. We both rose from the couch to join the other family members who were already seated at the dining table. The room transitioned from screen illumination to candlelight which brought out the natural sparkle of genuine human interaction. The room underwent a transformation. The color of the world became visible again as if someone had restored it.
I experienced the buttery taste of my aunt’s cookies while listening to my grandmother’s stories and my uncle’s jokes made me laugh so hard that my cheeks began to ache. The digital world on my phone became completely still while the actual world around me started to flourish. I gained a new understanding at that instant that social media does not function as the primary antagonist.
Our decision about when to use social media determines its impact on our lives. The beauty of Christmas lights appears when they enhance our surroundings yet they become problematic when they block our view of existing light sources. The belief that memories exist as captured content is incorrect because we actually experience them through our senses. Our memories exist within our physical experiences because they are linked to the scents of cinnamon from the kitchen and the sensation of hugs and the sound of loved ones calling our names. The exchange of authentic experiences for digital records leads to evidence of events but eliminates genuine memories of those experiences.
The most painful aspect emerges from how simple it becomes to overlook this loss. The moments that escape your memory exist because you spent time perfecting their appearance instead of experiencing them. The days following that evening kept replaying in my mind. The moment passed close to becoming another unremarkable night of endless scrolling. The evening could have turned into one of those forgotten nights which I would only recall through hidden phone photos. People fail to recognize how brief and delicate every moment truly is.
Time keeps moving forward without any consideration for our readiness. The moments in life continue without interruption while we search for the perfect digital enhancement. Time flows peacefully through our lives until we decide to stay present with it. The practice of being present in a society that values distractions proves to be a challenging task. It holds great strength. The act of putting away your phone serves as both a form of opposition and an expression of affection. Your decision to put away your phone communicates to everyone present that their presence holds greater value than any distant distraction.
The most significant impact came from how one person’s presence spread throughout the entire room. The moment Nicolas and I placed our phones away from view the entire group experienced a noticeable change. The video recording stopped and my cousins joined the ongoing dialogue. My aunt ended her Instagram session. During the big family gathering my usually reserved aunt started sharing stories about my childhood years while speaking with a calm and comforting tone. The single decision we made transformed the entire evening into something new. The power of being present spreads from person to person throughout a space. Their faces revealed a deep sense of relief when they finally looked up. People had been holding their breath without noticing until they finally released it. The experience made me question how many people secretly yearn for authorization to stop pretending and reveal their authentic selves.
During this holiday season I encourage you to experience what I have learned by turning off the world around you. Place your phone inside your pocket before you look up and listen to the world around you. Laugh. Observe how your sister laughs with her head thrown back and how your mother sings softly while serving dessert. The candlelight produces heat that touches your facial skin. The combination of pine and cinnamon aromas fills your nostrils. You should experience the present moment fully instead of being distracted by other things. The experience of being present surpasses any photo editing skill because it creates a more authentic beauty. Social media serves as a connection tool but it should never substitute the essential relationships we need. The real enchantment exists outside of our screens when we fully engage with our surroundings. It’s all around us. The most radiant light of Christmas will emerge from our human connections rather than our devices. It will come from each other.
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